morphieum
by DatDude
Summary: What began with Ambition has spread change like a drop on still water. Things come full circle in the wake Impact, as people face themselves and one another. Choices will be made, and futures decided, as things come at last to a close.
1. Chapter 1

Book Three Chapter One: " Troubled waters "

"In the last six months, Seele has, despite my best efforts, has begun to splinter. The Throne of Souls will soon be no more. All we can do is minimize the damage, and attempt to retain control of the key Evangelion technologies."

Keel looked across the meeting room table at his senior staff, and tried to read the people with whom he was trying to save the world.

Yui Ikari spoke first. Her hair was a bit longer now, and still dyed brown. She looked like a child in her mother's clothes.

" Has it really been reduced to that? We had so much international cooperation in the beginning. "

_Still ever the optimist, brilliant, but the practical reality of how the world works escapes her. I'd trade her for Kyoko in a heart beat. _

Misato was next. Actually in a regulation uniform, the simple gold engagement band on her finger the greatest change.

" Seele directed much of that cooperation. With their influence divided, how much of our current resources can we hang on to? We have a war to win. "

_I am fast running out of excuses to dislike that one. Still, her main concern is the Children, and with them she has had her failures. You could call that inevitable when your only weapon is a child._

Kaji had changed the least, with only a matching wedding band

" When they were building toward Instrumentality they didn't need to worry about keeping themselves in power. These days they have given up all illusion of civility. On the bright side, I heard from our agents in Germany. It is confirmed, the regeneration matrix for Kaworu is no longer and issue. They have been above the board with us so far."

_This one is too comfortable in the dark. He's the kid of man that that is far too used to playing both sides against the middle. Yet another important asset loyal for reasons that make me uneasy. _

Kaji continued.

" With Berlin securely in our hands, that should make the next generation of Evangelion beyond any one else's reach. If the worse happens we know the battle field with be in the lead technology-wise. "

Keel spoke up again.

" Speaking of the last round of upgrades, what is the ETA on Unit 2. "

Misato answered as if looking at a clock.

" Twenty five minutes. Mind if I ask why you're not more worried about American 2nd branch, Sir?"

" Because Rei detonated the sixteenth Angel over Tokyo 3 eight weeks ago. The original generation of Angel focused on us, because we had Lilith. Unless there is some reason for them to migrate to Nevada, I'm blaming one man's argents for rushing both Evangelions to completion. I'm more worried they will try to get a look at the 2's systems. If we have no trouble, how long before we can get it back in the air? "

Misato again answered quickly.

" I have the transport staffed with an extra pilot. They need to refuel for the return trip. That's it. The big issue is the Asuka needing to stay in the plug for the entire trip. If she has to leave, the AT field drops and they can access the same diagnostic ports we use to maintain the Eva. Do we really have to treat the Americans like we do Taiwan? "

" The Senator wants to be the next President. Once that danger has past, we can repair relations by helping them rebuild from this disaster. We are sure this is a disaster, and not an Angel? "

Yui spoke.

" The scrolls said seventeen Angels. If we take that to mean that Adam born creatures, then, even counting Kaworu, we have one left. Now most of the Angels where driven by instinct to attack us here, because of Lilith, and Adam. They can't tolerate others of their kind, I think. If that translates to the Eva's they could have been attracted by the activation. Those however are very big ifs. Everything so far has been focused on us. "

Kaji broke in with a rebuttal.

" Unit Three was almost here when it turned back because of bad weather. We did have a blip on one sensor that might have been a blue pattern. "

Keel seemed to be rolling his eyes behind his visor.

_This one can never come right out with it can he?_

" I'm old, Mr. Kaji. D don't keep me in suspense. "

" How much of the scrolls were in Seele's direct control? "

Keel wished he had a cigar. H, he knew this was going to be a long day.

" Everything in public or private hands was collected with in five years of the Impact. Are you suggesting some one in Seele was holding out on the rest of us ? "

" If they knew the nature of a few of the Angels was viral like the one that attacked the MAGI, it would be easy to weaken the Eva's immune system. Fly paper for the Angel. "

" For a man with no Meta-biological background, Mr. Kaji, that sounds like you been coached on the Eva's immune system. "

" I was to retrieve a sample, if it happened here. The Angel infecting the Eva would need to create an S2 core. That would show us just how to create and install one of our own. The Germans have that knowledge and they only share it with us. The Americans wanted that information bad. "

A bright red warning light and a voice over the intercom ended the conversation.

" Evangelion is approaching American airspace. Transport confirms a pattern blue, repeat pattern blue. "

Keel speaks as every one begins to move to the command deck.

" Angel. "

25000 feet over Nevada desert the redesigned Evangelion Unit Two sprang to life inside a NERV transport. The bulky new backpack unit shone in the sun, as it went.

The lights in the plug came on, as Misato's face appeared on the com.

" Asuka, you're almost there. The MAGI confirms target is an Angel. "

She sounded a bit uneasy as she replied.

" You STILL haven't found the other one? "

" Doctor Ikari thinks the 2nd branch tried to bring The Four on-line and it went wrong. It used a refurbished S2 organ from an Angel Shinji killed. She said it could have created a Dirac Sea that swallowed the base and everything around it. It would need to stay stationary to maintain it, so you only have one to deal with. The Americans would have needed Unit Three to try to break the Dirac Sea, what happened to IT we don't know. "

The girl rolled her eyes.

" Great tell Wonder-Slut, to keep her hands on off my man. "

" Asuka! "

She activated a manual release, and the Eva went into free-fall.

The Angel appeared as a speck on her view finder, and began growing rapidly as ground rushed toward her at 32 feet per second squared. She watched the altitude counter near zero, as the image of the hunched over and warped former Eva Unit three came into full view. What remained of its restraints where scattered across last 500 yards of its slow random trek across the sand.

The hulking beast seemed to smile as it turned and look skyward.

" Feel me coming don't ya? That's good, because I've got jet lag, and PMS! "

On the ground the Angel looked on as the Eva sprouted wings, and roared head long into it.

The pair hurtled forward for a full mile before coming to a stop.

Asuka folded her wings, and brought the Eva up to a kneeling position over the stunned Angel.

" That's where I like to be, on top. Now, where were we? Oh yes, playing Doctor. I need my scalpel! "

A pair of progressive knife popped free from their wrist sheaths, and she drove them into beast's chest plating in succession .

" I had to cross an ocean for this crap, so I am taking my fun where I can get it. "

The blades sank half way into the creatures chest before it recovered its senses, and its serpentine arms wrapped around Unit Two's throat. Asuka felt her own throat begin to close as the arms elongated, pushing her back out of stabbing distance.

She threw all of the Eva's weight to the left, and lined the monster's face up with her left shoulder pylon. Asuka fired the spike launcher and the Angel went limp as its skull split into thirds. She spent a full three minutes gasping for breath, before turning to the radio.

" Unit Two . . . to command, Angel is down . . . but not dead. Do we know if anyone is in this thing? "

Misato's slightly annoyed face reappeared.

" That jet pack is not rated for combat, Pilot. "

" Tell the guys in R&D . . . it works fine. Now that Angel I'm sitting on. . . "

The purpled haired woman put her hand on her forehead, and groaned.

" That is enough. Lose the lip or I engage the dummy plug, understand? "

Asuka bit her lip and tried to sound professional.

" Yes Colonel. It's disabled, and not going to re grow a head anything soon."

" Good, pull back to 800 feet, and kill the S2 organ before it overheats. Put the Eva into active surveillance mod, and ONLY bring the S2 core back up to recharge the battery. Understand? The Americans are sending in a task force to try to contain the Angel for study, and try to recover the pilot. "

Asuka looked ready for another outburst, but to her credit it didn't come.

" Understood. . . . Unit Two out. "

Misato walked out of Dogma, with Yui at her side.

" OK, we have an Eva full of untested upgrades, on American soil, babysitting a headless Angel. Please tell me the telemetry said everything was alright. "

Yui looked as out of place as ever, like a child in her mother's lab coat. Her words defied her apparent age.

" The S2 organ is fine for short bursts, I'd have never let her leave if it wasn't. I'll spare you the techno-babble, but that Angel is built on the last generation Eva production module. Even if it heals as I think it can, we've got it out matched by at least 35. The thing that I can't figure out, is why the hell they tried to bring both Evangelion on line at once, in the same base? "

Misato tried to remember she was talking to someone old enough to be her own mother.

" We are run by the head of Seele directly so we get first dibs on funding. Also we have you, so we lead in R&D. They want to close those gaps as a matter of national security. We could conquer the world if we wanted, and they couldn't stop us. "

Yui sounded almost heart broken as she replied.

" When did this stop being about giving humanity a future? "

Misato almost laughed.

" This is humanity though. We always need to protect ourselves from each other. I know it's kind of sad, but its the way of the world. "

" I thought when it was over, they'd be running cities with Solenoid engines. "

Misato used the voice she normally reserved for upset children.

" They might still, but only if we can finish this. People always have a chance at talking things out. "

Yui's cell phone rang once and she rolled her eyes after checking the screen.

" Speaking of talking things out, times up. I'll be on the detention level with Rei for the next hour or so. "

Misato watched her walk off, and retrieved her own phone after Yui turned a corner.

" Doctor Ikari is on her way detention. Go to alert level 2, and move the Zero from deep freeze to the cage. "

At the very peak of NERV's headquarters on the main observation deck, Shinji Ikari wrapped in a blanket.

He heard the door slide open behind him, and he felt that knot in his stomach get worse.

" Shinji -- you OK, kiddo? "

He sat up at the sound of Misato's voice.

" Yea. "

She walked over to him, and sat on the floor to his left.

" You missed your therapy session again. You have something you don't feel like talking about? "

He tilted his head to lean on her just a bit.

" I'm just . . .not sleeping against. I don't want another bottle of pills. . . . "

" I was on those for a while. Knock you right out. Have any reason to not want a good night's sleep, Shinji? "

Her arm found its way around his him. He sounded tired as he tried to change the subject.

" I don't like that guy, he's just . . I don't know. . . "

" Asuka and Rei both talk with him. "

She felt him shiver a bit, at the sound of the word Rei.

" Shinji, you need to talk to someone. . . "

Shinji leaned on her just a bit more, and she knew what was coming.

" I . . .have nightmares . . . sometimes. . . . "

" If it's me, I'm not married yet! "

Shinji didn't react to her teasing, and that made her worried.

" What? "

Misato honestly didn't know what to say, so she took a stab in the dark.

" Is it your Mother? "

" Her. . . , and Rei. That tank down there too. I keep remembering the night she came back. I'm four and . . you were . . .still just laying there . . ."

She thought back to that dead limp half awake time after Gendo had Adam inside her. She pulled Shinji just a little closer.

" I am not going anywhere, Shinji. "

Shinji didn't seem comforted, and the ring on her finger felt heavy .

" You know, I still rent that apartment. Living in the dorm is a big change. . .with more pilots coming we needed to . . . .Asuka has almost as many years in NERV as I do. You can't make that up and go to school full time. This way we can do both, and protect you . . . "

She looked down at the boy and for a second she was fourteen again, alone in white room.

" Listen good, mister! You are not being abandoned. . . .not again, understand me? "

The boy finally fell asleep in her arms.

Rei sat in the dark, listening to the sink drip for the millionth time. Light appeared as the door slid open, and the sound of her own voice made her frown just a bit.

" We need to talk. "

_Her again, the one I hate. Always in her shadow, and never in the light. _

She walked to the cot Rei was sitting on and sat to her right. The light from the door still the only illumination.

" People saw you the other night, love. That can't keep happening. "

Rei was silent for a long minute, before answering in a whisper.

" Why? "

"Because, Rei, it draws attention, and it makes people afraid. "

Two pairs of red eyes locked, and one pair looked angry.

" They are afraid when the Angels come. "

" What is that supposed to mean young lady? "

Rei for the first time living memory, spoke up in an angry voice.

" I fight . . WHY! I LIVE COLD AND ALONE ! "

You found her own voice rising to match.

" You live with ME. "

" You are a ghost! "

Rei stood, and stormed from the room, and Yui sat in the dark.

Next: " Fly me to the moon ."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two " Fly me to the Moon"

The door opened before he had a chance to change his mind. Dr Sheldon stood there smiling.

" Hello Mr. Ikari. Come in. "

" . . sure . . "

Shinji took a seat in a chair as the gray haired man made his way to the desk.

The Doctor spoke first.

" So how have you been since last time? Sleeping better? "

" Yea, I guess. "

" Anything you feel like talking about? "

" Not really . . . "

If the Doctor heard the apprehension in his voice, he didn't let on.

" How a are you adjusting to being off the Prozac ?"

" Good, I think. After . . my Mother . .I think it helped. "

Noticing Shinji beginning to open up just a bit, he made a mental note, and decided to probe deeper.

" It must have brought a lot back, having her back in your life like that. "

" . . .how do I talk to her? She left me in a bad place for a long time. She didn't mean to but . . .it has to count for something. "

_He's better so far then the last three visits. The boy's not even shacking. _

" How does it feel, having her back? "

" Like . . .she wants me to forget about the last ten years. She got to skip them, I . . .was left all alone. "

The doctor shifted his glasses, before probing deeper.

" Do you still feel that way? "

The boy actually cracked a smile

" No, not really. Misato, I guess, saved me from all that. Asuka, too. "

" Have you considered talking to your Mother about how you feel? "

Shinji didn't want to look at the man as he answered.

" No. "

" Why is that? "

" . . she came back from the dead. Why the hell shouldn't I be scared? It's not like with Asuka's Mother, they . . . I'm not a mad scientist, but they had to tie her into the Eva. My Mother wanted go in that thing, she wanted to leave me there. Yea, she had no way of knowing my Father would be a snake, but she still took me to the damn lab knowing I'd hear her dissolve. Do you know what that sounded like?! Ever since she came back I can't get it out of my head! "

" Does that make you want to move run away from her?"

Shinji seemed to stop shacking, and sit up straight.

" I don't want to run anymore. "

Yui sat in the NERV break room glaring at a laptop full of information she was sure would keep her up at night. She didn't notice Kaji entering the room.

" You know you're not supposed to use those, too much of a security risk for the high level stuff. It's why we have the hand sized MAGI terminals. "

She was abnormally short in her reply.

" The screens are too small. "

" It's a question of security between the computer and the MAGI. The hand units are a part of the MAGI so it works a bit different. "

" No it doesn't, and they aren't. Your MAGI interface was just shoddy so I patched it. How do you secure something with that much less power ? It's like saying paper is more secure then silicon because it can't be hacked."

" That is a matter of perspective, I suppose. "

Her odd tone continued, as Kaji sat beside her.

" How many places have you crept into and stolen things from? "

" Good point. Is that the data I got for from America? "

" Yea, its pretty disturbing. "

"You've decrypted it have you? Your reputation seems well deserved."

Yui ignored the first compliment she'd gotten since she could remember.

" They knew it was an Angel. They planed to sacrifice an Eva to get their hands on one the entire time. They have a 7th generation computer system loaded into a backpack the size of a external power pack. It's supposed to keep the Angel in line. Looks like they didn't have time to install it. That many people in the DIRAC sea with no way of getting air -- they had to move quick. The . . . thing must have cracked the shell enough to get out, and ignored the EVA generating it. "

" Are they still alive? "

" Nothing in here on bending the laws of physics. They . . .protected the pilot . . .with those damn implants. . .fifteen years ago I created the neural clips so we wouldn't have to drill four holes in a kids skull. That would take years just to rehabilitate the poor soul. How long did they plan this? "

Kaji mused as she spoke.

_For the first time she seems her age. Mother's instinct maybe. _

" Damn thing needs almost no biological maintenance, but everything inorganic would need to be checked twice as often. It even makes it's own LCL. It can remain in the field as long as pilot can be kept in the plug. "

Kaji spoke with out thinking.

" Is it a pilot anymore or a dummy plug? "

Her head snapped in his directing, and the look in those red eyes made him flinch.

" He is a boy, and he has been mutilated! This is the kind of thing . . that wasn't supposed to happen. I guess with not one to keep it from happening it did. "

_A woman in distress regardless of the circumstance is a women in distress. _

" Some times one must simply roll the dice, and, win or lose, live with the result. "

" Yea . . . I guess. "

Kaji took a deep breath.

_If I'm going to find out if you're worth the risk I'm going to need to do this the hard way, aren't I?_

" I used to take care of Asuka. Did you know that? Over a year, back in Germany. I thought it was . . just another job. She was a fire-cracker with pig tails back then, that spent her days in an entry plug, learning to pilot something that might not even work, and her nights studying her self to sleep. Asuka wanted to be a doctor before she was 20. That left me with well lots of free time to get into, and out of, all kinds of trouble. "

Yui seemed to be paying attention, and Kaji counted himself lucky.

" Somewhere along the line she developed a crush on me. That was cute too, until she got it in her head that their was no difference between her and 20- something's she had classes with. Then things got . . . not so cute. Asuka kept getting worse, like I was actually interested. She even tried to, well you can guess the rest. I got drunk one night after we got here, and bumped into her on the street. Said a few things I shouldn't have, and was too drunk to care. Now, all of this, you could say I should just deal with and move on. Thing is, Misato and I are engaged now. She would not take that ring until I accepted she's got two kids. Maybe I should have played the older brother when I had the chance."

Yui took a moment to absorb what he'd said.

" Why tell me any of this? "

" I thought you might understand, and maybe we could give each other a hand? "

An alarm ended their conversation, but the look in her eyes told Kaji it was a good bet.

" An . . Angel. . Lets finish this later. "

Asuka sat in the entry plug watching the battery power drain, for the fourth straight hour. A blip on her console shock her back to reality.

" About damn time. "

She brought the S2 online without really needing to, and clicked on the com.

" Unit-Two this is NERV-1 report your status. "

_NERV-1 me ass, the American first branch._

" The target is still down, but regenerating. Your containment and reclamation team better get here fast. "

" Confirmed, Unit Two. ETA is fifteen minutes. Roll Unit Three over, and assist in attaching additional restraints. Once they are in place you will both proceed Groom lake, and penetrate the Dirac sea. "

Asuka did a double take, and tried to remember her English a bit better.

" What? NERV-1 request confirmation of last order? You want me to travel WITH the Angel? "

" Unit Two, stand by for briefing. "

The screen flickered as they put her on hold.

_What the hell? I know the head's looking closer to one piece but . . .what is that thing?_

The screen came back, and she bit her lip to keep from gasping. The image was another entry plug, but the LCL was a shade darker, and a sea of black cabling lead from the walls, to the pilots skull.

" . . . hi . . "

Keel sat at the command station, resisting the temptation to fold his hands in a Gendo- like fashion out of spite.

_My desk now._

"Report Mr. Hyuga. "

" Pattern indicates an Angel, it's moving for shore, and making land fall with in the hour. "

" Where will it make landfall? Can you plot it on a map?"

The young man's finger danced across the keyboard in a way that made Keel wish he could still hold a guitar the way he used to.

" The other end of the Island, it'll have to cut through Tokyo 2 to get to us and pass at least two other cities. "

Keel spoke in a dry tone of voice.

" That is a lot of people to kill on the way. "

Misato entered the command deck with her cellphone in hand.

" We have a confirmed landing point yet? "

Keel smiled seeing her hit the ground running.

" We've got two assets left that can fight, what are we sending? "

The landing point and a timer appeared on over head display, as Misato frowned

" We've got Rei, an 800 pound gorilla with a glass jaw, or the Zero that we do not know if it can even work in it its current state. I say send the Zero and bring Rei for back up, just in case the Zero doesn't function. "

Keel's visor recalibrate as he blinked.

" You made up your mind fast. "

" Zero's been idle months now. Time to find out if. . the third child can still fight. We needed to grow the thing a new head, it's got one. We need to know it works. "

_You are not afraid to send him into battle, yet you keep an empty apartment just in case he quits on a moment's notice. Is it both of them, or just the boy? I hate this train of thought, but when attachments of the heart are what keep the walls from falling down, I have little choice._

_Now time to see if the son of Gendo Ikari is worth all the trouble, or if it was Yui all along. _

Shinji went over the entry plug's control panel for the second time, as the MAGI finished its prelaunch check.

_It's easy to see where they cleaned things up for Unit one. _

The Eva came to life, and the boy turned to his com.

" Zero ready for launch. "

Misato's face didn't appear on the screen, but Chairman Keel

" Have you read the briefing? "

The boy shifted in his seat, as he spoke.

" Umm yea. I'm to intercept the Angel before it gets to Tokyo 2. I've got no cable access so if the S2 goes down, I'm back to the five minute battery. The Zero's Spine couldn't support the jetpack, so anything I'm going to use during the fight I have to carry with me. I've got the prog sword, and the knife for back up."

The chairman replied quickly and sharply.

" Why nothing for range? "

" Monocular vision, I can't hit anything at range in the simulators. Hand to hand has always been the best way to do this. "

" Good then, launch at will, and move for the target. "

The screen went blank, and Shinji was confused.

" Why wasn't it Misato? "

Putting it out of his mind, Shinji signaled for a launch, and felt the G-forces pushing down on him form all sides. The massive machine sprung from the ground, and broke into a run drawing the Prog-sword as it went.

_S2 organ is at 30 and holding. Hope it stays in the green. _

Shinji barreled toward his goal, following the appropriate highway for the capital of Japan. The few cars that didn't obey the order to stay off the road, stopped to gawk at the blue Mecha racing toward fate.

_At least its not still orange. _

Fifteen minutes later, he cut right at his exit, and vaulted an overpass coming in view of shore.

The creature's head broke the surface, as Shinji arrived. He took stock of the beast. Half a head shorter then the Zero, dull gray color, and almost skeletal in appearance. It's eyeless sockets turned to the Zero, and its head tilted to the side as if it studying it.

" Somehow I think I've been here before. "

Shinji dialed the S2 up to 80 and charged, thrusting the blade into the creature's chest. It seemed to look down at the wound as if wondering what it was. Shinji raised the sword high, and went for the neck with all the Eva's strength.

" Some how I'm just not this lucky. "

The blade connected with the Angel's neck bones and it pulled back after feeling the first pain in its short existence. Stunning Shinji with its sudden burst of speed, the beast was behind him driving its club like fists into the Zero's back half a dozen times.

Shinji stumbled forward and was forced to stab the sword into the ground to support himself.

" Yea thats more like it. "

Abandoning the sword he spun the Eva and saw the Angel coming at him. Its fist connected with the Zero's face, as Shinji rolled with the blow, and grabbed the thing's wrist.

" My Mother grew that head, try not to dent it. "

Holding onto the beast's wrist, keeping it from using its speed to dodge, he began a devastating series of blows to the thing's skull. After a moment of over confidence he stopped hammering the creature to retrieved the prog knife from the shoulder housing. In that time the Angel recovered its senses, and opened its jaw to a surprising degree. Shinji spotted a familiar white face like symbol inside its mouth, and a beam of white hot light connected with the Zero's face.

Shinji saw the entry plug through bright stars, as he sent a mental command into the Eva. It returned the error, " Device not found. "

Shinji shouted as another blast his him square in the chest.

" This things got no eye lid!"

Bringing the Eva's hands to its face to protect the eye, he felt the ground shake just before the Angel's foot impacted the Zeros back, and he felt a vertebra pop.

" DAMN! "

The Zero froze, unable to see its attacker. I, in the plug Shinji waited. Shinji found himself in what he considered an odd position. He didn't want help, he wanted to do this on his own.

" OK, one more chance to do this before they send in Rei. "

In the plug he closed his eyes, and tried to ignore the pain coming from the Eva's optic nerves, into his own.

To his left, he felt the Angel's vibrations as it again charged. When the thumping sound of the run stopped he pulled the Eva to the left and caught the beast's leg as it went to kick him again. Shinji smiled as he brought the prog knife up and ran it along the underside of the leg "bone" until he found the knee joint. The lower leg gave way with surprising ease, as Shinji found him self with a knife in one hand and an improvised club in the other. He went to work finding the creature's midsection more by feel then anything else.

The cross shaped explosion could bee seen from the Prime Ministers office, as the fight at last ended.

High above the battlefield Rei floated, her school uniform blowing in the wind. She dialed her cellphone without looking.

" All clear. "

Keel looked down at Shinji Ikari in his hospital bed.

_Yet another irony that I should be the only holding vigil over this boy. Though I wonder still how I learned to hate him since I came to walk these halls every day. When did I become the type to visit the sins of the father on the son? _

The old man rolled his cane in his hand, and continued to ponder.

_This is my doing in part. I set things into motion that raised the dead. As good as they may have been for humanity, this one's suffered more then the rest. Kyoko's child at least was as prepared for a war as a child could be. This one was . . .thrown away, abandoned, and then dragged into a war for fate of humanity. Somehow I can not escape at least part of the burden for that. _

_Oh for the days when I could ignore matters like this and simply power on through. _

Shinji kept bringing his hand to face in his sleep, and Keel frowned.

_I'm rather glad at this moment I never had a child. This world treats them so poorly. Though I have myself to blame for so much of that. Do you continue to fight because you've found a family that requires it, or have you found your courage? Either way I long ago gave up any right to judge when I turned a blind eye to things. _

The door opened and Keel just didn't care to turn and look. Yui took the seat on the other side of the bed.

" I'm surprised to see you here Mr. Chairman. "

" You send them to war, you should at least watch over them some of the time. "

She had the old familiar tone in her voice, and he could almost forget the last decade.

" It's a small thing to care, but then it isn't all the same. "

The sound of her voice, and his inability see the red in her eyes made the feeling stronger.

" Mr. Chairman why are you really here? "

" I think it started with revenge. . .Gendo took something from me, and even if I couldn't have it back I wanted him to pay for it. I didn't want anyone else to, but they have. It wasn't all bad though, you're here and this boy at least isn't living in shack on the back lawn. Not that I did a damn thing to correct that myself. "

Yui didn't seem phased.

" Second chances are rare, but there is still a deeper matter. We have a war to win, but we need to face ourselves, before we can face our enemies. I left my son in a very bad place. I can blame my husband until my face matches my hair and it will do no good. I made my own mistakes. "

Keel stood up, and made the effort to bow to Yui as he went.

" True enough. I am sorry for what its worth. Now I have miles to go before I sleep. Good day. "

The boy began to stir after another half an hour, and Yui spoke again.

" Shinji it's Mother, are you alright? "

Next: " a pound of flesh. "


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three " a pound of flesh. "

Doctor Sheldon's office seemed larger somehow, as Rei entered it, then the last time she was there. Doctor Ikari had brought her just to be introduced. She'd tried to speak well of him, to instill trust. Hoping against hope that any trust she's earned with the girl would let the man help her. Somehow she was more uneasy then before, every shadows made the room more ominous.

" Hello Rei, how are you feeling today? "

She somehow managed to speak without biting her lip.

" . . .fine . . . "

" Is their anything you would like to talk about Rei? "

The Doctor studied her emotionless face, wondering what it was hiding. Her voice little more then a whisper.

" . . no . . "

He looked down at her and imagined the trauma on top of trauma, she must have seen. He became aware of the fact that he was trained to treat human minds, and for the first time he's was faced with a mind that may not be human. Full of doubts though he may might be, this is not the first scared child he's worked with.

_This isn't going to be easy. _

" I know you've been through a lot of changes the last few months. If you feel the need to talk about it, that is why I'm here. "

The girl's response came, quick and emotionless, as if she was reading off a card.

" Transition is the natural state of things. Change is the only constant, and with change there is always loss. Things have changed, and I must accept that. "

The Doctor was perplexed at hearing a response like that from a child.

" It sounds like you've thought a lot about this. "

She responded in her trade marked tone of voice.

" I have. "

" . . . and? "

Rei's ice cold exterior finally started to crack. Something about his voice, it had something the Commander's never had, compassion.

" . . . and . . .I . . .I do not know what comes next. All around me . . .they move on . . "

" Would you like to do the same, Rei? "

" . . . yes . . . "

_This is going to be the only thing that will make me take up smoking again, I can just tell. _

Yui walked into Shinji's hospital room, for the third time in the last hour. This time she saw him squinting at a bright red laptop, typing with two fingers. He still looked so alien to her, as if she only had to see him in the right light and he'd be four again.

Yui spoke in the voice she reserved for her baby.

" You shouldn't be doing that Shinji. Your optic nerves still need rest  
after the shock they took, "

He didn't remember the sound, or didn't care, and he kept on typing, as her heart sank.

" Just a sec, I need to get this report done, before I forget the details  
of the fight, " Shinji replied, almost as if he wasn't really paying attention.

_He used to listen. . . . I used to matter so much to him . . like he does to me. _

Yui spoke again, she sounded in many ways distant, and not unlike Rei.

" You should not be straining your eyes. "

Misato entered the room, and Shinji turned to her and smiled. Yui felt her heart ache at the sight of it.

" Ho hi, Misato ! The report is almost done! "

She closed the laptop without speaking.

" Hay! "

" I think your Doctor just told you not to do that. "

_His Doctor . . . _

The boy opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.

" Shinji, the people you'd email that too, are in the room. "

She used her right hand to muss his hair as she spoke, and he smiled. The sound of his laugh made Yui smile in spite of herself. It was good to hear him laugh, knowing how rare a thing it had's been in his life since she was gone.

" Stop it! HaHaHa!"

" So report already. "

Shinji spoke with a happier tone in his voice.

" When my synch ratio went up, one of the hands didn't get any more feeling in it. It might have been the whole arm, I'm not sure. "

Jumping at the chance to really talk with him, Yui spoke up.

" That might be the A-8 nerve again. What side was it ? "

" Umm my off hand, so the left side. "

She grasped at straws to keep the conversation going.

" OK, that Eva's only got one eye so we can't track vision. How did the S2 feel? "

" Umm like I needed to controls to work it. "

Yui raised an eyebrow.

" What? "

The boy spoke, forgetting he was in fact speaking to the woman that came up with the idea of an Evangelion.

" When your ratio gets high enough you don't need any controls, the S2 I felt I couldn't work by thinking about it. "

_That's not right, not right at all. . the S2 should . . _

" We'll need to run a test when you're better. "

" Thanks. "

She smiled a weak smile as Misato turned to her.

"Got a minute?"

The pair stepped from the room.

" Sat link with the 2 came back for a few minutes. Can you take a look ? "

"Sure."

They walked for the elevator, and Yui tried to bury her feelings deep.

_I don't think . . going into the core, was as hard as watching them. Maybe it should have been._

Asuka watched the American task force strap an over-sized back pack to the restored Unit-3. Seeing the beast heal was like watching a reversed time lapse of something decomposing. The whole long while, she though of the child she spoke to an hour before.

_It's head's almost back to the way it was. They say that in another fifteen minutes it'll get up and walk west with me to . . .who knows what. _

The com sprang to life, and the four levels in encryption the Eva applied flashed on the screen, telling Asuka it was from Japan, and not the Americans.

She taped a control and Misato appeared on her com window.

" The satellite is back in position for the next hour. How's it going? "

Asuka knew the Eva was sending telemetry back home, but tried to lie anyway.

" Fine. Any suggestions on changing an 8 hour tampon in a full entry plug? "

" Asuka, the encryption would take a Magi five hours to crack, and on top of it the Americas have been on the up and up so far. You can speak freely. "

The girl locked eyes with her guardian and nearly exploded. The lack of sleep, the stress and what she'd seen just boiled over.

" THE ANGEL IS ONE OF THEIRES! THE PILOT HAS MAJOR SHIT DRILLED IN HIS SKULL! THEY WANT ME TO WORK WITH . . .I don't know if I should say him or it . . ."

" OK him. "

The girl blinked.

" What? "

" I'm saying that until I hear from anyone that knows better, we are assuming that's a child in that plug. Now I want you to describe everything you've seen. "

Asuka began to hit random controls.

" I'll skip that OK? I recorded everything. Embedding it into the transmission now. "

She saw Misato bite her bottom lip they way she does when her mentor had a habit of doing when she didn't want to say something out loud. Like, say " Your synch ratio is in the toilet. "

" I think I'd rather hear it from you. You've had more then enough training for a preliminary report. "

She tried not to curse in German. She tried to remember she was doing a job, and couldn't afford to . . . .well scream like a teenager.

" OK. . .It was revolting. Heavy wiring coming out of the cyberware in his head. Level four at least , like that crap that got banned after the last war. The LCL was too dark, like it was stale, and his speech was slow and . . I'm worried about him turning on me after it regenerates. The backpack thats supposed to keep it under control looks . . bulky and that armor on it can't be thick. Like a damn prototype. Listen I took this thing apart once I CAN do it again. . . .but how am I supposed to break the DIRAC sea AND watch this thing? "

Misato spoke in that maternal tone of voice she usually reserved for Shinji.

" For right now, we can't do anything about that. If we force the Americans to leave the Angel behind they can't fight it. Nothing they have, N2 mines included, can stop it. You need to babysit until we can shut it down in a controlled environment. The America first branch is in Boston their are too many people at risk if they move it there. Canada is too far away. You need to keep it with you until the DIRAC sea is broken, and they can shut it down at Groom lake. "

Asuka took a deep breath of LCL, and cursed herself for needing a "talking to".

_Like I'm Shinji or something._

" What if . . .everyone's dead when we . . when I break the AT field? "

" We will deal with that if it comes to it. Right now, just keep that thing were you can see it, and worry about that AT field generating the DIRAC sea. "

Misato could see the girl was trying to hold it together.

" I'm having Shinji brought up now. "

" What the hell are you talking about? "

" Shinji's had hands on experience with a DIRAC sea. I'm bringing him down so he can give you what ever tips he can. "

_Oh you bitch . . ._

"Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four " Turing the tide "

Misato dragged her self through the door an hour past when she intended. Pausing for a moment to look over the still unfamiliar surroundings. The apartment was larger then the one on the surface. Big screen TV, MAGI terminal, and central air all came with the place. Pen-Pen seemed to be out of his fridge more often, standing in front of the vents or watching TV.

It still made her sad though, technically not living WITH Shinji and Asuka. They lived up the hall in the dorms. Lots of spare rooms joined at a common room, with a communal bathroom. She tried to tell herself this was even better. It made things easier having a separate entrance for her and Kaji. Gave the tutors better access to the children with out disturbing Kaji or herself. Also she smiled a guilty smile, it also let them do certain things, without waking the children.

Not that any of this would stop her from spending most of her time down their. Some of it even on the clock, written up as physical training, i.e. taking the kids to the gym to make up for a lack of phys-ed, or Kaji's idea of paint ball as combat training outside the simulators.

As she went she dropped off her jacket on the couch.

_Damn, looks like Shinji forgot to start dinner for once. _

She made her way down the lone hallway toward the dorm. Misato realized just how much she hated that word " dorm " as she went. It implied they might need a lot more pilots before this was done, and the idea of an ARMY of children kept her up some nights.

Reaching the " common area " of the dorm she found Shinji asleep on the couch with the TV running. For a long moment Misato considered just letting the boy sleep, and pretend neither of them had to face what was coming. It only lasted a moment.

" Shinji wake up kiddo, we got company coming for dinner. "

Yui sat on the command station typing on her laptop, and not caring about the dull gray shielded network cable running up the side of it for all to see.

_I need to ask Mr. Kaji just how much information he got off that wireless unit they used. _

Accessing a restricted feed she normally wasn't supposed to, Yui grinned.

_Don't restrict something from the person maintaining the computer system, you hide it in some forgettable subsystem they'll never touch. _

Her screen came to life showing a darkened apartment and Shinji asleep on a couch. Yui blinked for a second as a Penguin walked across the screen and stole a bag of potato chips from beside the boy.  
Silently she watched the boy, her son sleep there. As if searching for something, she pulled up stored footage while still watching the live feed. Images of a boy's life so alien to her flashed across the screen.

A tutor teaches math, he looks frustrated, while Asuka laughs.

_How can two children that young living together be a good idea? _

The time comes for a lesson in formal Japanese, and the situation reverses itself. Shinji ducks a pillow as Asuka's frustration starts a round of play fighting. It ended when the tutor got them both back settled down. Yui spent a long while just starting with a freeze frame of the fight, Shinji was smiling.

She was so tired of doing more reading about her son's life then seeing. Being a part of it. Yui'd accepted she'd given that up the day she entered the core. It broke her heart but it was true.

_I've seen too much blindness since I've been back. Real understandable, human blindness though its was, it isn't forgivable. My husband went to war with God for my sake, and forgot about our son until he needed to use him . . like he did so many others. The he expected me to fall into his arms. ... _

Yui paused for a moment noticing movement on the live feed of Shinji's dorm. Misato had walked in from out of frame, wearing the NERV uniform she'd taken to recently.

She'd given up caring how the woman dressed uniform or dress. For the first time she could remember, Yui Ikari envied another woman, as she watched her wake a groggy Shinji.

_I left everything that matters unprotected, so he could protect everyone else. One builds a machine that runs on dead Mothers' souls, and must be steered by that woman's own child. If you're a woman that meets every requirement for that, and you have a child of your own, you're a hypocrite if you don't do what you ask others to do. _

They walked together on their way to Misato's apartment. Yui made a mental note that the camera was positioned just right to know if two teenagers where getting too friendly or going off into the same room together alone. Then continued her line of thought.

_Gendo shrank from him out of simple fear. He sent him to a place where he would have everything he needed, but a single person that cared. I traumatized the boy without meaning too, because he NEEDED to know I was in the Eva to call me out. I could protect him then. . I saw it as a sacrifice . . Shinji . . didn't. Mother was just gone, and no one cared about him. Forgive us, lord, we knew not what we where doing. _

Yui paused her self flagellation yet again to examine the camera feed, as as Misato returned to the dorm common room to retrieve that odd Penguin of hers. For a moment she could swear Misato made eye contact with the camera, and Yui swore she was being watched.  
_  
I made a mistake that hurt my son, and shook the world all at the same time. Baka Yui, I'm sure. It's time to . . .accept that. Things can either be mitigated or they can't. I need to talk to my son. _

Keel's voice echoed in the dark yet again. He stood before Seele's meeting table alone with a certain American.

"You have a lot of nerve to call me here, Senator Wingate. "

The man's holographic representation seem altered to show him as he appeared almost a decade ago, n. Not unlike the technology used by over the hill actors to squeeze out a few last films. His image stood near the dent the Frenchman's head had made in the table, and Keel wished America was a bit closer.

" This is Seele's meeting place is it not? I have business to discuss. "

The man's ego seemed to transcend space, making Keel imagine he could smell his breath.

I'll make you squirm before this is done, you arrogant bastard.

Keel's words boomed across the digital void between them.

" Seele no longer exists, Wingate! My supporters and I have returned to what we where before, the Trilateral Commission. You sir, have no business with the Commission. "

Keel summoned all his willpower to avoid spitting into the hologram as the Senator spoke again.

" You have a pilot in what will soon be MY country. This is simply a warning from Seele to have her behave herself. "

Keel made a mental note of just the tone of voice he used when he spoke the word " Seele "

As if this fool knew the meaning of the word.

Senator Wingate dropped all penitence, and spat out his words.

" I know you have the Russian, and I know he cost you a database full things thought impossible before the return of Dr Ikari. This is a friendly reminder that you left Seele behind but the throne of souls remains. Dislike that if you want, but you will respect it! "

The older man finally snapped.

" You impudent bastard! "

The Senator's hologram faded as he made a final statement.

" If the Sea of Dirac around Area 51 isn't broken, or if I even suspect that you might implode it intentionally to destroy the REAL S2 engines we have there I will come down on you. "

Senator Wingate's image faded, and the implant in his eyes told him he was really gone, and only one other was present.

" He'll start a war just to prove he's better then you are, Keel. "

He didn't turn, didn't look up, he knew the voice was being beamed directly into ears by one of his many implants.

" I can't stop him from doing that, but you can, Mr President ."

The casual tone in the man's voice made Keel wonder if he'd made his mind up already. That it came down to this, the future hinging on a man he hasn't shared a room with in twenty years trusting him with fate of humanity.

" That's dirty pool, old man. I'm a lame duck these days. Nothing to do but keep house until the election. "

Keel's footsteps echoed in the empty meeting place as he tried to remember the last time they talked when it wasn't about work. It was that concert maybe.

" Planning to retire and let the world burn. "

Keel smiled as his old friends voice showed a hint of anger.

" That's dirty pool you old bastard. "

Keel grasped at straws, trying to convince him.

" Eisenhower spoke out against the military industrial complex before leaving office, and even then said he didn't leave things in the best of hands. We control world now Jonathan, and once he was gone no one could stop us. "

A full minute of dead silence followed before he spoke again.

" Are you saying we shouldn't be running things? "

" I'm saying you can't pack up your desk and say everything will work itself out, because it won't. Unless your going to tell me you don't know what they are MASS cloning at Groom lake. "

Keel imagined the President's face as he replied for a final time. It looked tired and eager to finally put down the sword and rest. Keel wondered if he already had.

" Dear God, that's where he's getting the S2 organs of that quality. He's really mass cloning that Angel for spare parts. . . . "

Keel spoke not knowing if the link was cut off or not. 

" Someone has to stop him Jonathan, and I can't. "

Shinji rechecked the timer on the stove for the fifth time in the last five minutes. Much to his dismay time wasn't going any faster. He rechecked his list of things he could make with what was in the fridge, noting the revisions after he dropped a few things in his hurry, and, much to Misato's amusement, revisions for spending time making the list. Misato again tried to calm him down.

" Shinji, your mother's not due for another few minutes. "

The boy turned, speaking sharply and quickly.

" I need to get this done ! Wait can she eat meat? All of this might make her sick! "

Misato regretted not getting out of work earlier, but the show Shinji was putting on in front of the stove made her smile. It was enough to make her feel guilty.

" Shinji vegetarians only get sick if they haven eaten ANYTHING with meat in it in any way for a long time. "

The boy continued to labor around the kitchen shacking as he went, until Misato stepped behind him. Wrapping her arms around him she could feel him trembling.

" It's alright, I'm going to be here the entire time, and Kaji will be home in a hour or two. "

Shinji responded sheepishly.

" Why didn't you tell me? " 

The pot finally boiled as Misato answered in a motherly tone of voice.

" You need to face this, Shinji, one way or the other. It's been long enough since she's been back. No more running from it."

The boy almost whimpered.

" Couldn't you wait until Asuka was back?"

Shinji ignored the stove as she gave an answer he already knew.

" Asuka has plenty of reason to be jealous of you Shinji, but this is something she can never have. "

The boy's heart beat slowed, until the doorbell rang. Misato let go and he went back to making dinner.  
Shinji saw her walking toward the door, and he muttered under his breath.

" I mustn't run away."

Yui stood at the door, and counted the heart beats since she rang the bell.

It's so unlike me to be this way, afraid to meet with or talk with anyone. This is Shinji. . . I never though I'd be scared of him. . .

The door opened as her heart skipped a beat. She wanted to see him their smiling, glad to see her at last. She was disappointed, as Misato opened the door.

" Hi ummm Doctor ! Come on in! "

Walking into the apartment she couldn't help but stare at this violet haired women.

_I still don't know what to think about you Misato Katsuragi. _

" How's Shinji doing with Asuka over seas? "

" Worried. How long till she's at the Dirac Sea? "

" By morning our time, nothing to do but wait, and hope the Chairman can get her a safe place to rest."

The quick exchange of shop talk did wonders to calm her nerves. After a few long heart beats, Shinji came into view. Yui kept trying to see the boy she left behind in the teenager she was not faced with.

Shinji was wearing a white novelty apron with " Kiss The Cook " written across the front. His face wore a forced smile, and he spoke a nervous tone in his voice.

" H-hello M-mother. . . "

It reminded her of Gendo in a way.

" Hello Shinji. "

Rei drifted in the LCL, the one sanctuary she's ever known in her life. Her thoughts dwelling on changes wrought by dead souls returning from the grave. Her own life bleak though it was, was simple to understand before the dead walked. Was dead even the word to describe them? Regardless the changes left in the wake of Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu, and the continuing wake of Yui Ikari had altered he life beyond what she'd though passable.

_The Commander is gone. . .and Ikari does not look at me the same as he once did. _

Once she wanted nothing more then a kind glance from one or the other, now they both seemed lost to her. The father in a NERV mental ward under suicide watch, and the son shunning her for arms of Second Child. Her heart beat spiked and she imagined the LCL boiling from her rage.

_She is selfish, and arrogant ! He once looked at me the way he looks at the Second. . .now all he sees is Dr. Ikari's face. _

The warm liquid circulated around her as the miles of circuitry, and cabling echoed her thoughts to what ever section of the MAGI was responsible for their storage. Her own memories from before her " death" had been faded by time, and she pondered the details of resurrection. Do you remember love, rage or sadness? It was so faint now like someone else's life. Was she happy before? Then when she could not care for her self the Commander cared for her, was he kind, or loving ?

Something jarred her from her thoughts. Reluctantly she opened her eyes to see Maya knocking on the tube. One thing she WAS sure of was no one ever used to knock on her tube.

The technician pantomimed for her to move to the exit hatch at the top of the cylinder, and she rolled her eyes as she swam. This was HER place and having anyone disturb her here was unsettling to say the least.

Reaching the top, Rei immediately noticed the temperature difference as she pulled herself free. Sitting there for a long minute dripping LCL, she shivered, not noticing Maya looking on with half smile.

" You didn't even think of bringing a towel, did you?"

Rei shot Maya what passes for an angry look when you're soaking wet and freezing. Maya tossed her a bathrobe and a pair of oversize slippers that looked like bear feet. If the older woman wanted to provoke a reaction out of her with the slippers it was working.

" These look foolish . . "

" Well it's just until we get you to the locker room. "

The alien feeling of having someone else here besides the Commander or Doctor Akagi was overwhelming . Had this woman ever even spoken to her before today? Before Rei's world was lonely, filled only with a few people that didn't care for her or, in the Commander's case, she knew would one day let her fade into nothing when her usefulness was at an end. Now she found herself walking in the dark with this woman she didn't know.

It seemed an odd place for a conversation. These deepest halls of NERV, endless catacombs of metal, and shadows. Footsteps echoing in the dark, as a girl not entirely human tries to find her place in an unkind world.

She for once spoke in a raised voice and not a whisper.

" Why do you even care? "

Yui and Misato watched Shinji scurry around the kitchen for ten minutes straight before Misato broke the silence.

" So, do you think he remembers the food's already on the table? "

Yui for the first time reminded Misato of Rei, with that lonely look in her eyes. It was getting easier to distinguish the Yui from Rei just by body language. Now, though, the sadness made them harder to tell apart.

" It's not you, really. Getting Shinji out of his shell is . . a part time job. "

Yui looked on with red eyes, unused to being on the outside looking in. Misato, without blinking, reached out her left arm, grabbing the boy as he buzzed past. Shinji objected weakly.

" I forgot the garnish. "

The dark haired woman snapped back.

" Good, it's against me religion, now sit down! "

Shinji half believing her did a double take.

" What religion ? "

Misato smacked her forehead in frustration.

" I'm a scienctologist. "

Misato imagined she could see gears spinning boy's mind. Normally she'd love the chance to make him blow a gasket but this wasn't the time.

" R-really? "

" You're right -- I quite. Now sit down."

Yui looked on as her son's apprehension gave way to laughter. She pondered the odd moment.

_I love to hear him laugh, but I hate it that she's the one making him. What does that say about me? _

Misato's cell phone sprang to life with the ear splitting sound of decade old J-pop that made Yui and Shinji both look at her with raised eyebrows. She grinned wide before speaking

" Umm, that's Kaji, I'll be right back. "

They were left alone at the table to an uncomfortable silence.

After about a minute of eating without a word, Shinji tried to break the ice.

" So any word from Asuka ? "

" No not in the last few hours. . . miss having your girl friend around? "

He blushed just a bit, and Yui's worries about his living arrangements where confirmed. She took a moment to study his face, and seeing Gendo the way she remembered him. A bit of shell around a good heart. The kind of shell that grows from too much time alone.

" Yea . . kind of . . umm to quiet around here without her I guess. "

Yui couldn't help but smile despite her feeling about their living arrangements.

" So, you do most of the cooking ? "

" I used to, Asuka and Kaji trade off the rest of the time. Misato, well, she tried to learn, but she cut  
herself and bleed on a roast, and we had to throw it out. It made her feel bad."

Yui acted without thinking, reaching out to touch Shinji's hand across the table.

" She matters a lot to you, Misato, I mean. "

As if being touch by a hot coal, Shinji's hand recoiled, and Yui's face contorted with rejection. In an instant, all her patience and resolve began to crumble. Yui stood abruptly, and spoke in flat emotionless tone that would make Rei cringe.

" You are my son, and I love you, but I can't keep doing this. "

She turned slowly, as if in agony, away from Shinji and towards the door. Shinji watched her leave, and felt something give way inside.

" M-mother! Mother wait! "

Shinji's chair hit the floor as he moved after her.

Sitting on the bathroom floor, holding her cell and staring at the paused alarm, Misato fumbled for a pack of cigarettes . Without being able to hear the next room, she knew a damn was breaking, and good or bad right or wrong she had set the charges. 


End file.
